This article was very kindly written by my husband Gary
People start families for different reasons. For some its due to the convenience that comes with having a family, others its due to the respect they command among their peers, while a bigger majority do not know why they started a family.
Well, I too was taken aback by the question “why did you decide to start a family?”However even after 10 years down into family life I cannot deny that these three reasons influenced my decision on starting a family.
To beat loneliness:
After our marriage in year 2005, just like any other couple, we wanted to have our time together and have children later in life. This was influenced by the fact that I was 24 years old while my wife was 22 years and in her final year in college.
Hence we saw no rush in having children. However after my wife graduated from college and we had it all: good jobs, nice apartments and a handful of friends, some sort of emptiness engulfed our lives. We felt that something was missing.
The fun in the marriage turned into loneliness and there was immediate need to fill this emptiness. That is when we decided to have our firstborn son who would fill in this emptiness. True to our expectations, when this bounty of joy came to our lives, our family was complete and the loneliness was like a tale to us.
Our careers & Our Home
Securing our careers as a couple was on top of the list when we got married. At first we thought that if we postponed having children and a family, this would be a hindrance to career progression. But a few months after my wife and I joined the corporate world and saw how women in their early forties were juggling between childcare and rising up the professional ladder, we decided to start our family early enough to ensure we cut down on the rush.
That is why we have two children, one who is 9 years while the other is turning 6 next year in January. I believe with this pace we will be able to have an edge in career progression.
We both feel entirely blessed with the home we have set up for ourselves and while we have had to go through the painful and challenging experience of moving home 3 times we finally feel settled and contempt.
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I dreaded bringing my children the way I was brought up. I am not saying that my parents did not take care of me, no, they did. However being a last-born I never enjoyed the love and experiences that my brothers kept telling me (time they spent with my parents).
As I was growing up I wished that my parents were younger, so I could share my experience with them instead of my older siblings. These experiences were projected into my family life. That is why I decided to start a family and start it early, so that I could share each end every moment with my wife and children.